Girls

Dear Girls,
Anything I say right now can and will be used against me. Heres the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I'm gonna make generalizations about being a guy, and assume that every guy is exactly the same. Maybe this list will help someone, someday.


1.every guy is different. no two guys are exactly the same.
2.guy's brains function differently before and after sex.
3.guys know within the first 30 seconds whether or not they want to sleep with you.
4.guys only know whether or not they want a real relationship directly after sex.
5.guys will never be fully comfortable with the idea of never again sleeping with other women.
6.if you want your guy to stop gawking at other girls, all you have to do is pretend you are interested in another guy.
7.guy's brains function differently before and after sex (did i say that already?)
8.if a guy doesn't call you the next day, its because either A. he's completely disinterested and you should just go ahead and give up alltogether B. he's already madly in love with you and is pretending that everything's cool.
9.motorcycles are a potentially viable replacement for women.
10.breast implants would be way cooler if they were carbon fiber.
11.guy's laundry does not need to be separated into darks and lights (maybe girl's laundry does, I have no idea).
12.if you are secretly also attracted to girls and you think your guy MIGHT be intersted in sleeping with you and another girl at the same time, go for it. Nothing bad could possibly happen.
13.guys have feelings to, we just tend to ignore all but the 3 most important ones.
14.guys must periodically sit around fire.
15.if your guy comes home all dirty smelly and sweaty, wrap yourself around him and pretend like you are uncontrollably turned on by his manly aura. He will then be a very happy man.
16.most tricks for training dogs work on guys too.

thats enough, I'm not giving away all my secrets.
Good luck, girls!
Dan